Sunday, February 21, 2010

Dammit Dryers! And when to conceive a baby.

I did the grocery shopping this weekend. Rowdy had ice cream on the list, so down the forbidden isle I went, fully intending to buy some crappy praline flavor that won't tempt me. He loves that stuff. Well, part way down I saw a flash of green in my peripheral view..."was it....oh no. oh hell. I don't need this! But there it was:

I'm doomed.

I had Boone in August. A week later I was down to my pre pregnancy weight and feeling very smug. That didn't last long. I started right in on the "I'm lactating and can eat anything I want" diet, then came Thanksgiving, then came the Christmas/New Years juggernaut, then came Valentine's Day, and now, just when I've resolved to eat fruit for dessert forever more, along comes Dreyers and their blissful collaboration with those infernal girl scouts. I ate two bowls full last night.

Ladies, if you haven't procreated before, heed this advice: do your breeding in the Fall and your birthing in the Spring. This way you have a whole Summer full of active outdoor holiday-free living and light eating during which to lose the baby weight.

As for me, I've been walking around with a spare tire wrapped around my middle, mindlessly repeating my new mantra: "it's all in the boobs, it's all in the boobs..." and every time I look in the mirror I'm reminded that, well, it's not all in the boobs. This afternoon I escaped to my bathroom for a long soak in a tub in which I USED TO fully submerse myself, and, pondering my high and dry belly, had a bit of a "come to Jesus" moment...this is it, this is that day that I always knew would come. My metabolism has slowed, my lifestyle is too sedentary, and the weight is no longer going to melt off. I have to accept that or start exercising to outpace my calorie intake, or I need to stop eating like a linebacker. Honestly none of these options are really acceptable. I mean, I'd love to exercise more - I wish it were part of my job though, b/c I just can't find the time at home. I know they do it on Biggest Loser and everybody says "oh you can, there's time, you just have to make YOU a priority" well I just think that's BS. There's not enough time, period. Don't argue with me about it. I'm not open to that sort of perky yet.

So my plan will be to put this blog to work for me. I will start logging what I eat and see if I can shame myself into good health. Don't worry, I'm not going to turn this into some Kirstie Alley style weight loss and inspiration (anyway, that doesn't work, Kirstie's already back to where she started) log, it's just my baby step towards some sort of change that will be tacked on at the end of the day.

So, day 1:
-1 bowl organic steel cut oats with butter, brown sugar, and low fat milk; 3 pieces turkey bacon, 2 scrambled eggs
-1 southwest chicken sandwich at the branding iron cafe - chicken breast, chili, pepperjack cheese, lettuce, tomato, onion and a lot of french fries w/ ranch dressing and ketsup
-7 mini kit kats
-approx 1 cup peanut m&ms
-trader joes 12 grain crackers with cheese (approx 15)
-trader joes wild rice mix with mixed trader joes veggies (edamame, corn, peppers)
-1.5 cups Dreyer's thin mint ice cream
-large bowl trader joes organic corn flakes w/ low fat milk
water throughout the day

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